Saturday, May 14, 2016

Purr-loin these Hammock straps!

This post is about hammock straps.  Honest.


My human is the most bendy, most wimpy non-feline you have ever seen.  While I spend NO time doing exercise and can bend in any direction I wish, and can scratch down a sheet of wall paper in a flash, she works constantly at fitness, and her greatest accomplishment is "Downward Dog" (shudder)!

She has this contraption called a yoga trapeze, and she does all kinds of non-sensible things with it, like hang upside down and do back bends.



Honestly.

The very thought makes me wish I had a hairball up with which to hack.

But anyway, this thing seems to entertain her, and I've heard her lament that she has no way to use it when she travels in her trailer.

Then she got the bright idea to try these "hammock straps."  She is very convinced they will help her attach her trapeze to nearby trees so she can hang upside down while listening to birds chirp, or some such nonsense.  (I mean, who would prefer *listening* to birds chirp when you could be chomping on their tiny, delicious little bones?)

She likes that these straps are long and strong, and they have many loops along their length so she can simply attach her hammock with carabiners (included) without having to worry about tying or untying knots.

She has even suggested that these can be used as yoga straps for stretching.  Wrap one around your paw -- I mean foot -- loop your paw -- I mean your forearm -- through an appropriate loop on either side of the strap and stretch that leg out.  (Do this if you're non-feline and therefore are incapable of tying yourself into a knot for your own grooming entertainment.)

My human has bundled these straps back into their handy little bag with their two very strong carabiner slips, and has it tucked into her trailer to try out on her very next trip.  My conscience (and the FCC) requires that I mention that my human received these straps at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review (#FNOVA).  I have to admit being biased about everything, so will probably get into trouble somehow.  However, the straps are good.

So there.

Stay bendy, people.

Sincerely,

Miss Emmy Dickins
writing without prejudice from under the bed

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